2.9.12


Why do you fear the rage in my eyes?
Why do you quell when you look at me now?
I remember when the only image
You would have seen in my eyes
Was you
Pure, unblemished, perfect.
A reflection of you cast in my soul and framed in my eyes

Now all I feel is blank
I see you standing there
I still see you
But I don’t feel you
I don’t contain you
And painfully
I don’t understand you

Every time you call my name
My heart beats a little faster
In fear.  Not elation
Every time we pass each other
Mumbled politeness
When once you knew secrets
I was afraid to tell myself

I thought we were meant to be
That our rhythms were cast in tandem
That the world could never trip me up
Because you would never let go

I was wrong
I wish every day I wasn’t
I feel like a phoenix
Dying in the hope of being reborn

But all you do,
Is sweep up the ashes
And trash them.
No being reborn for me

I wish you’d just let me burn
In eternal agonizing brilliance
That torture must be less
Than looking at you now
And seeing someone 
I no longer recognize