Life Lessons from Hollywood

I grew up with Hollywood. Practically a junkie. The earliest movie I remember watching is The Lion King. Graduating from animated movies (just cartoons, those days) to hard core Hollywood, I embrace the industry, swallowing up practically everything it has to offer, except in the blood dripping-limbs flying-mutilated people genre.

I was switching channels, comatose in the way that only a jobless not yet certified post graduate can be, and I came up with this list. A tribute to the industry that gave us Jim Stark, Red, Col. Nathan Jessup, Darth Vader, Edward Cullen (everyone makes mistakes,we forgive and move on), Morpheus, Jack Sparrow, Mufasa, John McClane, The Terminator, Free Willy and so very many more. Hollywood cliches that show up in 1 in 5 movies, and we don't mind, because we love them!

10. The villain is never who you think it is. Never.

And the best part is, apparently, even the characters don't see it coming. Hollywood has no qualms about making anyone the bad guy, and runs riot with our expectations, never being apologetic for bringing either our or the character's world crashing down.

Most used line : Some variation of : "It was you! I trusted You!"

Best revelation ever :

Luke Skywalker : You killed my father.

Darth Vader : No Luke. I am your father.

9.Watch who you mouth off to.

Moral of this particular cliche : Never play by the rules. Just don't. For by the time you're done making

the best speech of your life, confident and full of yourself, complete with the words, "I'm taking you down", the guy you've just insulted will look at you calmly, and say "that's not in the rulebook, son."

You (still confident and full of the taking-you-down part) : "And how the hell would you know that?

Guy you've insulted : " I wrote it"

Moving on...

8. Love can be beautiful (sometimes)

Don't have a stroke. I'm not talking about certified sleeping pills like P.S. I Love You, Love Story, A Walk to Remember and the like. They bore me to sleep if not to tears. But every once in a while, a dashing young man walks into a living room and says :

    "Hello, hello?I'm looking for my wife." 

    And when the aforementioned wife says "You had me at hello.", you believe her. Class.

7. They are the original proponents of "Yes We Can!"

  

Obama would be proud. Whether it's the President of the United Status single handedly rescuing his plane 

from hijackers, a spy making a 5000 feet wide free fall across two buildings, a medical procedure to graft adamantium onto a man's bones, men bringing down evil aliens without getting so much as a singe mark on their shiny black suits or just winning a football game, how many times have we heard the words : 

   "We/I/You/They/ Did It!!"

6. No one's so bad they weren't good once

Hollywood truly teaches you to see beyond what a man is, and to look for what made him that way. No matter how heinous a man, at some point, directly after a scene where all the good guys have been having a serious discussion on how to take someone down, one of the good guy stands up and picks up his coat. And when the others look at him in surprise and one of them asks : "Where are you going?" 

He always replies : "To See an old friend" (who is now the guy we are trying to take down)

5.We all fall before we rise

Possibly one of the most important lessons that Hollywood teaches us. No matter how convinced everyone else is of your greatness, no matter that you are destined to be the one to save mankind and the world in general,unless you believe it yourself, the following conversation will take place :

Master/Teacher/Friend/Supporter : You can't walk out now! Everyone knows you're the chosen one. If you leave, we're done!

Hero who doesn't know it yet : I'm sorry! I really am! But you're wrong about me. And I need to get back to my life now.

The one detractor whose been against you from the start : I told you, we're wasting our time. Let's go.

Of course, a near death experience involving either you or a loved one brings you right back in a blaze of glory, and after you've kicked some serious derriere,your detractor is the first to say (jaw scraping the floor) : "how did he do that?!"

4.Best excuse ever : "I'm just doing my job"

3. Respect your enemies.

Another valuable lesson. If you've granted someone worthy enough to be your opponent, respect that covenant.  Embrace it. Make it your life's mission to take them down, no matter what the cost. And always know that only in a fair fight is the victory worth it. Otherwise, simply save his life, speak the classic line : "No one kills you but me", and walk away.

P.S. : Please note that this action very often results in equally classic replies along the lines of : "This changes nothing.", "I'd rather die than owe you my life", "This isn't over" etc.

2. Know when to move on

Letting go is never easy. Especially trying to let go of a friend, dream, idea, love etc. Which is why you always have a wise person who says "We're done here/It's over/Let it go"

That's your cue to meekly follow.

1. And this one, my personal favorite. You are always in control, regardless of the situation.

And the best example of this is the fact that you always know exactly how much time you'll need to get yourself in danger, regardless of whether you're busting a drug den, or breaking into a locker.

Definitive dialogue : "If I'm not back in ____ minutes, get the hell out of here/blow the place to hell/get help."

And of course, they never need to, because, let's admit it, if you can predict your own lifeline, you won't need back up.

Hasta La Vista, Baby!