Of sleep. And Dreams.

I've always been a dreamer. Unfortunately, an awake one. I'm forever fashioning dreams when I'm awake. Probably because sleep deludes me. And also eludes me.


I've been an insomniac since I was a kid. My parents would switch off all the lights, hoping I would get scared of the dark and come to bed. No such luck. I merely learned to find my way in the dark. As an adult, the only thing that's changed is that since I have access to the light switch, I lie awake in a lit room. And no, that's not the problem. I've also realized that just like those bygone days of kiddiedom, darkness still doesn't work. I can't fall asleep unless there's a light on. And I'm lying down (try being a frequent flyer if you really want to appreciate the misery of that condition). And its cold. And I could go on.


I can't fall asleep. Though I can stay asleep (for about 8 hours) Singularly one of the most useless abilities ever. Unless I've been up and about for days, and have quite literally, tired myself out. I can run on anything from 2 to 8 hours. And I have been awake (with an international flight, a 6 hour wait in 2 airports and a full day's class thrown in) for 36 hours.


So I fashion dreams when I'm awake. Impossible ones. Improbable ones. And even unspeakable ones. Its a very useful thing to be able to dream fully awake.


Throw that in with the fact that I hate mornings. Despise them. I can most easily fall asleep around 5.30 am, to the first rays of the rising sun. Of course, its not an appreciable quality. Also, no matter how tired I am, I can't sleep through a ringing phone. Ever.


P.S. : These are the rantings of a tired spirit staring at a clock, willing the flesh to comply with getting at least those 3 hours of sleep left. Ah but the flesh resists. Nothing as frustrating as a clock blinking away your hours to sleep, and you being awake to watch it! 
Oh and if you care, I very rarely dream. When I'm asleep.