Lies

Pretend all you want
so you can sleep at night
until the dream implodes
in the harsh light of day

Pretend all you want
that the horizon is endless
swim in circles
and say the world is round

Pretend all you want
that freedom exists
that choice is a fact
that life isn't bound

Pretend all you want 
until you smack and bleed
against the glass sides
of your goldfish bowl

Silence.
Deafening.
Suffocating.
Silence is the beginning
of the end
of laughter
of secrets

Polite nods
a smile
stares
whys...
And a desperate wish for the past

Forced laughter
Jarring. Fake
It's true.
As is this,
That we are strangers
Trapped by blood.

Enigma

I long to hear the answers
To questions I am afraid to ask
I long to know what expression plays
Behind that carefully painted mask

I long to hear an actual lie
Just to prove me right
I long to know just who you are
Under the darkness of night

I long to see that smile slip, just once
For a single second's truth
I long to know the shattered old soul
That weeps behind your youth

I long to watch you twitch and stammer
Rather than look me in the eye, straight
I long for that polished demeanour to slip
And to know, for once, that you took the bait

I long for you to show me the cracks
Beneath the glazed perfection
I long to know that I got to you too
That you were not my exception

I long to know what time will reveal
Was it set up to fall?
I long to know the answer at last
Was it real, at all?

What Time Teaches You

That regret burns, much more than guilt ever could.

That feeling worthwhile is difficult and fleeting.

 That "should haves" will keep you awake at night.

That love has no reason, but hate always does.

That loneliness shatters.

That time heals, but scars are often permanent.

That hope and expectation are very different things.

That we were built for infinite emotion.

That we often forgive to avoid forgetting.

That mirrors never lie.

That life is indeed, unfair.

That there are times when logic fails

That we don't always love those who love us.

That choices have consequences. Which will find their way to you. 

That fears will be faced. 

That we are often mistaken about who we really are.

That faith must be blind.

That people change. 

Why do you fear the rage in my eyes?

Why do you quell when you look at me now?

I remember when the only image

You would have seen in my eyes

Was you

Pure, unblemished, perfect.

A reflection of you cast in my soul and framed in my eyes

Now all I feel is blank

I see you standing there

I still see you

But I don’t feel you

I don’t contain you

And painfully

I don’t understand you

Every time you call my name

My heart beats a little faster

In fear.  Not elation

Every time we pass each other

Mumbled politeness

When once you knew secrets

I was afraid to tell myself

I thought we were meant to be

That our rhythms were cast in tandem

That the world could never trip me up

Because you would never let go

I was wrong

I wish every day I wasn’t

I feel like a phoenix

Dying in the hope of being reborn

But all you do,

Is sweep up the ashes

And trash them.

No being reborn for me

I wish you’d just let me burn

In eternal agonizing brilliance

That torture must be less

Than looking at you now

And seeing someone 

I no longer recognize