Traitor...

Traitor!
My name, unspeakable
my act, immortal
Besmirched, sullied, spat on
I hang at a noose I wrought myself
silver pieces spilling for want of blood


Thirty pieces of cold shining silver
to send to slaughter with a kiss
the man who saved my soul.

You were wrong, oh blameless one
I was but mortal. Weak. Corruptible.
Judas the traitor.
No catcher of men am I.
I deny it not.


But I beg to ask
Was there not one traitor more?
All I ask, and ask to know
Is there not a greater crime?

To say "I shall not betray thee though everyone else shall"
and then to say "I know thee not?"


Not once but oh three times over?
To lie. To deny the man you claimed to love
and follow till his very end


You may not have led him to the cross
and perhaps you are one sin less
I betrayed him and took my reward
But oh Peter the rock
the one the savior loved more than any
Tell me, which wound is deeper?


To still a beating heart?
Or to deny it, stab and twist
and leave it bleeding?


To betray?

Or to walk away?

Goodbye Harry!

11 years ago, a friend walked up to me and asked, sounding excited : "Sherin, have you read Harry Potter?" I had not, and told her so. She continued : "It's a  great book, I'll lend it to you." The next day, as I walked home from school holding Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, 12 year old me had no idea that I was about to begin a journey with countless others, a journey which will end, for all of us, tomorrow.

I devoured the book. So taken was I by Harry and Hagrid and Dumbledore and He Who Must Not Be Named, I made my brothers and all my other friends read it. I was hooked. Hungry, I scoured my friend's list for people who had the other books, after finding out that three of them had been released by then. Like most people my age, until the fourth book, I did not read them in order, I read them as 2,4,1 and 3. And by the time book 4 had released, I had become one of the millions of children who pre ordered the book months in advance, spent hours discussing what would happen, got to the store the minute it opened and fought with my siblings over who would read it first. 

By book 4, Harry Potter was a legend. Pottermania was a recognized english word. There were debate groups, book forums, websites, chat rooms, book clubs and predictably, a movie franchise that has by now spawned unreported earnings, transforming the "Potter children" into multi millionaires before they were even old enough to sign on the dotted line without parental permission.

Harry and I lived and loved through our teens, faced different demons and learned that in the end, if you walk out with your head held high, ready to do the right thing, no matter what the consequences, victory can be yours. The last book released 4 years ago. But there was still the movie to come. Still a reason to wait. And tomorrow, that will be gone too.

 The frenzy surrounding the release of the 7th and final book was unprecedented. It holds the wold record for most books sold in a day, the figure being as high as 15 million copies. In one day. Not since the days of Beatlemania, or a certain Moonwalker has the world seen a phenomenon that gripped its imagination so completely, leaving even adults camping on the sidewalks to buy the books on opening day.

How does one say goodbye to that? I for one, do not know. Tomorrow, when I leave the theatre after having seen Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2, a movie that stamps "the end" on something that has defined my growing up years, I doubt very much that I will be thinking about the movie. I will instead be thinking about the fact that my childhood is indeed, over. Harry and his world of magic was my one last excuse to hold on, and I will finally have to let go of a journey I began over a decade ago.I realize that like the child stars who are now poised, beautiful adults, I too have a last day scheduled to spend with Harry Potter.

No matter how old I get, I will always be a Pottermaniac. And if I get a chance, I will be one of those who introduces a generation yet to come to the world of Harry Potter. But for now, and for ever, it's over. A part of me ends tomorrow, a part that has lived with Harry, for 11 years. It began when we were both 12. I am now 23. And it is time. 

Thank you J.K. Rowling, for creating a memory which defines my childhood. Thank you Schez, for being the one who handed me that book all those years ago. And Harry? Goodbye.

You Taught Me

You taught me to win

and forgot to tell me

how to lose

You taught me to fight

and neglected to mention

when to stop

You taught me courage

what do I do now

that I'm afraid?

You taught me joy

where are you now

that the laughter stopped?

You taught me to believe

why didn't you tell me

that faith is blind?

You taught me love

then why do I

hate you for it?

You taught me to dream

and then set an alarm clock

leaving me awake and dreamless

You taught me hope

and never let me know

Pandora had opened the box twice

You taught me pride

Why aren't you here to help me up

Now that I've fallen?

You taught me beauty

and left out the part

about the thorns

You taught me to stand

I didn't know

You meant 

alone

Melancholy

Blue isn't my color

But every once in a while

You run out of passion

And joy

Even pain

Red fades, yellow washes away

Black, well black remains

But it's so easily stained

buried, choked, silenced

by the blue

I'm not sure when I embraced it

I don't think it was choice

I must have spilled the rest

Watched them run

A lovely river of colors

As my desperate outstretched fingers

Closed their hold

Salvaging

What I didn't know at the time

was a poisonous blue.

It stays. It stains.

Turning blue is always unpleasant.

Painful. Chilly.

Can't breathe.

Those words, careless.

In shimmering blue.

Time to paint.

Pretty purple?

Crimson and gold?

Choose.

Or drown

in a beautiful sunlit blue.

Life Lessons from Hollywood

I grew up with Hollywood. Practically a junkie. The earliest movie I remember watching is The Lion King. Graduating from animated movies (just cartoons, those days) to hard core Hollywood, I embrace the industry, swallowing up practically everything it has to offer, except in the blood dripping-limbs flying-mutilated people genre.

I was switching channels, comatose in the way that only a jobless not yet certified post graduate can be, and I came up with this list. A tribute to the industry that gave us Jim Stark, Red, Col. Nathan Jessup, Darth Vader, Edward Cullen (everyone makes mistakes,we forgive and move on), Morpheus, Jack Sparrow, Mufasa, John McClane, The Terminator, Free Willy and so very many more. Hollywood cliches that show up in 1 in 5 movies, and we don't mind, because we love them!

10. The villain is never who you think it is. Never.

And the best part is, apparently, even the characters don't see it coming. Hollywood has no qualms about making anyone the bad guy, and runs riot with our expectations, never being apologetic for bringing either our or the character's world crashing down.

Most used line : Some variation of : "It was you! I trusted You!"

Best revelation ever :

Luke Skywalker : You killed my father.

Darth Vader : No Luke. I am your father.

9.Watch who you mouth off to.

Moral of this particular cliche : Never play by the rules. Just don't. For by the time you're done making

the best speech of your life, confident and full of yourself, complete with the words, "I'm taking you down", the guy you've just insulted will look at you calmly, and say "that's not in the rulebook, son."

You (still confident and full of the taking-you-down part) : "And how the hell would you know that?

Guy you've insulted : " I wrote it"

Moving on...

8. Love can be beautiful (sometimes)

Don't have a stroke. I'm not talking about certified sleeping pills like P.S. I Love You, Love Story, A Walk to Remember and the like. They bore me to sleep if not to tears. But every once in a while, a dashing young man walks into a living room and says :

    "Hello, hello?I'm looking for my wife." 

    And when the aforementioned wife says "You had me at hello.", you believe her. Class.

7. They are the original proponents of "Yes We Can!"

  

Obama would be proud. Whether it's the President of the United Status single handedly rescuing his plane 

from hijackers, a spy making a 5000 feet wide free fall across two buildings, a medical procedure to graft adamantium onto a man's bones, men bringing down evil aliens without getting so much as a singe mark on their shiny black suits or just winning a football game, how many times have we heard the words : 

   "We/I/You/They/ Did It!!"

6. No one's so bad they weren't good once

Hollywood truly teaches you to see beyond what a man is, and to look for what made him that way. No matter how heinous a man, at some point, directly after a scene where all the good guys have been having a serious discussion on how to take someone down, one of the good guy stands up and picks up his coat. And when the others look at him in surprise and one of them asks : "Where are you going?" 

He always replies : "To See an old friend" (who is now the guy we are trying to take down)

5.We all fall before we rise

Possibly one of the most important lessons that Hollywood teaches us. No matter how convinced everyone else is of your greatness, no matter that you are destined to be the one to save mankind and the world in general,unless you believe it yourself, the following conversation will take place :

Master/Teacher/Friend/Supporter : You can't walk out now! Everyone knows you're the chosen one. If you leave, we're done!

Hero who doesn't know it yet : I'm sorry! I really am! But you're wrong about me. And I need to get back to my life now.

The one detractor whose been against you from the start : I told you, we're wasting our time. Let's go.

Of course, a near death experience involving either you or a loved one brings you right back in a blaze of glory, and after you've kicked some serious derriere,your detractor is the first to say (jaw scraping the floor) : "how did he do that?!"

4.Best excuse ever : "I'm just doing my job"

3. Respect your enemies.

Another valuable lesson. If you've granted someone worthy enough to be your opponent, respect that covenant.  Embrace it. Make it your life's mission to take them down, no matter what the cost. And always know that only in a fair fight is the victory worth it. Otherwise, simply save his life, speak the classic line : "No one kills you but me", and walk away.

P.S. : Please note that this action very often results in equally classic replies along the lines of : "This changes nothing.", "I'd rather die than owe you my life", "This isn't over" etc.

2. Know when to move on

Letting go is never easy. Especially trying to let go of a friend, dream, idea, love etc. Which is why you always have a wise person who says "We're done here/It's over/Let it go"

That's your cue to meekly follow.

1. And this one, my personal favorite. You are always in control, regardless of the situation.

And the best example of this is the fact that you always know exactly how much time you'll need to get yourself in danger, regardless of whether you're busting a drug den, or breaking into a locker.

Definitive dialogue : "If I'm not back in ____ minutes, get the hell out of here/blow the place to hell/get help."

And of course, they never need to, because, let's admit it, if you can predict your own lifeline, you won't need back up.

Hasta La Vista, Baby!