He couldn't believe it. She was going. Sure, some part of him had always known it was coming, known it was a mere matter of that bastard phantom that went by the name of time. Still. One doesn't expect it to be so final, so...unceremonious. Tomorrow morning, she would go. That was it. Nothing else remarkable about tomorrow, it wasn't special in any way. Just another number on a calendar page. But it would also forever be special, dismayingly so. It shouldn't be this simple, he kept repeating. One day just like any other? Shouldn't there at least be warnings, bells, a god damn symphony of alarms?
Five years. Five years they'd spent almost every waking moment together. Watching TV, always the shows she wanted. Watching her sleep. Being there when she woke up. Walks in the park. Ice cream. Parking a block away and then walking slowly to the parlour, her delicate feet somehow keeping perfect time next to his large ones. No, not somehow. Because they belonged there.
Because from the time he'd known her, from the first time he'd taken her hand in his, he knew she was meant to keep time and pace with him. Knew that it didn't matter how fast he went or who set the pace, they would always be in step with each other, hand in hand. Just like he and only he, knew that her tell tale sign that she needed a hug was when she bit her lower lip or that when she was really scared, she tugged on her left ear, and so much more. And now? Now there would be other feet walking next to hers. How would they know what pace to walk at so she could keep up?
Because from the time he'd known her, from the first time he'd taken her hand in his, he knew she was meant to keep time and pace with him. Knew that it didn't matter how fast he went or who set the pace, they would always be in step with each other, hand in hand. Just like he and only he, knew that her tell tale sign that she needed a hug was when she bit her lower lip or that when she was really scared, she tugged on her left ear, and so much more. And now? Now there would be other feet walking next to hers. How would they know what pace to walk at so she could keep up?
How was she able to go so easily? Excitedly even, the possibilities of a new, unknown world filled her with wonder and joy, and barely contained anticipation. She only held back a little in his presence. But it was no use, he knew her far too well. And the fact that she had to pretend made it worse. For there was no pretence in his pain. And knowing that she didn't feel any of it, that was what hurt the most.
Morning. He was silent, as he drove her to where she would say goodbye. She attempted some chatter, but quickly gave up when she saw that he wasn't going to humour her. Not today. They're there, far too soon. All at once he wishes he had said more in the car. They get out, and for a second, he stoops so that his face is level with hers. He stares into those eyes, mystery eyes, he called them, for they could be black or dark brown, seemingly at will. Just one more of the many wonderful things about her that would no longer be solely his to marvel at. He looks at her and in spite of himself, he blurts out, "Don't go! I'll miss you so much!" She laughs at his silliness, as she has laughed all these days. And then, she turns and is gone.
And as he watches his little girl walk into the school gates for the first time in her life, he knows that nothing would ever be the same again.
2 comments:
Awww...Daddy's lil princess :)
This was sho sweet Babu. Loved it.
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