Safe in your apathy,
I doubt you'll ever know,
The scars you leave behind,
Deep on my soul they go.

My life you claim for free,
My dreams you race to take,
This nightmare I endure,
Even though I'm wide awake.

Frozen smiles in picture frames,
Cameras capture an eternal lie,
Photographs won't ever show,
Any of my desperate cries.

You'll never know how it feels,
To have to learn to hate,
The one you thought was yours,
I'll learn to call  it fate.

I will be held together,
Through guts and will,forever,
All of your careful cracks,
Will not undo me ever.

You chip away at nothing,
There's nothing left to break,
Why do you say you're winning,
If there's nothing left to take.

Revel in your victory now,
Until the day your soul screams,
Forgiveness will be sought then,
By you who took my dreams.

Or open your eyes and see,
What it is you do to me.

That the brightest eyes you ever did see?
Look closer, just a while,
See how they share a face?
With the saddest, broken smile.

Epitaphs.
For the words
I smothered 
into oblivion.
When I left them
Unspoken.

Feelings.
I understand 
in ways
you never will. 

Understanding.
I feel
in ways
you will never
fathom.

Heartbeats.
Forming speech.
Slow, rhythmic.
Dense, heavy.
And sometimes,
in places we deny,
furious, desperate,
afraid.

And so,I write.

In my writing,
they bleed through
the yet undiscovered cracks
into existence,
and live.

No one ever tells you
It's quite so red
That crimson stream.

It's sudden, really.
You needn't go as deep 
as you think.

Almost as if it's been waiting
Pulsing
Flowing
For this moment of escape.

It flows.
Freely
Joyfully
Let loose at last,
A red river of pain
and relief.

Relief.
That the noises of the world
And the louder ones in your head
Didn't win.

Relief.
That you didn't wait
Like a stubborn child
To fight another day.

But most of all,
Relief.
That the sin of you living
Will no longer be borne
By the sin of you not dying.

Forever

"Tread softly. Because you tread on my dreams."

Because someday,
you'll remember
that silence wasn't always there,
like a loyal dog
curled up at your feet.


Because someday,
you'll look for these words
that were never said
lowered carefully into graves
dug of indifference


Because someday,
this silence will be deafening
and you'll beg for a moment's sound
or even,
my symphony of madness


Because someday,
I'll run out of sleep
and you'll trip
on the last dream
spread beneath your feet


Because someday,
All the laughter in the world
Won't help you remember
What it felt like
to smile


And someday,
You'll learn 
that time does heal.

But scars?
They're forever.

Voices

"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silences of our friends."

Lives are voices to me.

Words and wisdom

laughter and rage

cheers and songs

sobs and screams.

Sounds. 

All lives,

captured in sounds.

Except you.

You, to me,

are silence.